Urgh....

I do not normally growl. However, I think with the snow getting on my nerves, and dealing with the ignorance of some people have left me in a pretty foul mood. I have not always been the most caring or compassionate person. Once upon a time, I would have rather spit on someone than to worry about their feelings or even try to see things from their perspective. Occasionally, those tendencies creep back into thoughts and I am ready to pounce on someone. Incidentally, this particular instance has me befuddled. Here is why:

I can't take matters into my own hands (as I would have liked) because one of the people I care about the most on this planet won't allow it. I remember a time, a few years back, when I wouldn't have even cared if this person got angry, because I knew in my heart of hearts that this person would always love me, even when angry with me. This time is different, because I cannot stand to see this person hurt more than they are already hurting. The person that is doing the hurting should probably hurt too - in my way of thinking. I realize that God will take all of this into consideration, but I can't stop wanting to hurt this person to make them stop hurting the person I love.

To take matters a little more complicated - the person doing the hurting is also manipulating other people that I love and this infuriates me even more. Without sounding cryptic, one of the people being manipulated is also manipulating the original person I love the most. The tangled webs we weave, right?

Back to my original thought - I want so badly for these people who manipulate and intentionally hurt others to hurt more, and - I hope you drown in a vat of horse pee. I know this is not a Christian like attitude, and I will more than likely delete this post sometime down the line...but not just yet. I am extremely put out with the whole lot of you (the people who pretend to be considerate and hide behind cloaks of daggers and lies). This includes the one of you that should absolutely know better. Wannabe people can get bent, the originals (and you know who you are) will soon find out that you can't treat people like this and expect nothing in return. You reap what you sow and that comes from that religion that you say you believe in. God understands anger, but I don't think He understands dirty, underhanded, take what you want, hateful, deceit. Once a liar - always a liar.

For those of you who are new to my posting, I am terribly sorry that you have to witness this - but if you want to know the mind of the music - you probably need to know that sometimes the songs aren't that pretty. The times that I growl are rare these days, but tonight just happens to be one of those times. URGHHHHH.