Reflections

(I started this blog last night - so forgive the length.) On this evening thirty eight years ago, my mom was using all her strength to bring me into this world. I understand celebrating the yearly anniversary of our birth, but I think will use all my 38 wishes this year on others in honor of my mom being the one person to fight so hard for not only my birth, but my life from that point until now. So here we go:
I wish for
1. My mom to have the best year of her life.
2. My husband to have the best year of his life.
3. My son to have a fantastic year ( he doesn't have children, so the best years of his life are a little ways off.)
4. My brother, Mac, to have all his dreams come true.
5. My brother, Ron, to have a smile on his face with no worries.
6. My brother, Steve, to fill as many people's hearts with the Lord's love as heavenly possible.
7. My sisters in law to continue to love my brothers with undying devotion.
8. Buddy and Josh to continue to be safe while serving their country.
9. Chase to have a fabulous football season and school year.
10. Maylee to have a thousand hugs a day.
11. Eli to have a thousand kisses a day.
12. R. J. to have animals surround her so she can share her love a thousand different ways a day.
13. Tanner to have love with infinity and beyond ( no take backs).
14. Addy to have a thousand butterfly kisses a day.
15. Murry to have a house full of grand babies for every holiday .
16. Daddy to have music and John Wayne marathons until the end of time.
17. Sandy to enjoy being close to home.
18. Lori to have her children close to her, always.
19. Mischa to continue to rock Oklahoma.
20. Amy to have the best year of her life.
21. Miriam to have unconditional love forever.
22. Gerri to have eternal joy with her girls.
23. Sara and Renae to have a great school year.
24. For my students to learn as much as they possibly can.
25. The pool to remain a calming effect on those that I love.
26. The creatures of the ocean to figure out how to get back at the humans at BP.
27. The survivors of natural disasters to really live instead of exist.
28. Emma, Pookie, and Snoopy to get treats and love everyday.
29. Families of my family and friends to have unconditional love all the rest of their days.
30. Maddie and Kitty Belle to reclaim their superiority over the dogs.
31. Roby's Animal Rescue and Sanctuary to adopt every homeless animal they come across.
32. Kevin Dobbs to have the best looking yard for the rest of the season.
33. My mom and brothers to realize how loved and important they are.
34. Christmas to be available to those that need it most.
35. Those that don't like the cold to have an extended summer.
36. Those that don't like the heat to have a short fall.
37. Jesus to show His mercy and blessings to every person on the planet so we can hurry and get to Heaven.
38. God to watch over my family and protect them from evil, harm, and pain.

Anxiety

Anxiety comes in many forms and several levels. I guess my anxieties are mostly internal and I'm pretty selective which ones I share and overly protective with whom I share them with. However, I don't mind sharing the ones that are external and out of my control. rest assured that God has them all under His care and I recognize that and am very appreciative. The ones I want to talk about right now deal with getting old. In about a week I will be 38. While normally this doesn't qualify as an anxiety, the realization that with every year I get older, so does my baby.
I was watching him today and he was acting silly, which is not at all unusual for him, but I noticed how mature his silliness is these days. I miss the toddler that would slap his little hands on his thighs, jerk his head from looking to the right to looking to the left and then laugh like only little boys laugh...uncontrollably and without any inhibitions whatsoever.
Today, his voice is much deeper, his jokes are profound and his eyes are so aware and wise. I got a glimpse of the man he is growing into. While I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, I found myself trying very hard to laugh with him and cry all at the same time.
This evening, I am unsuccessfully attempting to remember when he last needed me to rub the inner part of his arm to get him to sleep, or when he tolerated my waltzing him so he could calm his mind from bad dreams. I desperately want to remember his little boy scent after playing outside or after a baseball game. I would really settle for one more "mommy, will you read me a book or watch a 'didsney' movie?"
I guess I should stop spending my time trying to recall all of my little boy's sweetness and allow this new set of memories of his teenage years to become as endearing as every breath he has ever taken.
He is going to be gone from home soon, and I want every moment to count. So, for those of you that keep up with this blog, and you are fortunate enough to have a little one in your life, take a moment or two every night to watch them sleep. While they are resting their little bodies in preparation of tomorrows memories, you can replay the day in your mind so it will be there when you need it.

Inspirations

I haven't posted in a couple of days and thought I better look for some kind of inspiration, and you know what I found? Well, at first nothing and then I went ahead and sat down to try to write something and Emma put herself in my way. So I stopped trying and let her put her little neck on mine for a while. That's how she hugs. Then I got to thinking about how many things we can learn from our animals. I don't mean just poop OR pee anywhere you get the urge, I mean the loyalty, show of affection, constant attention (unless an unfortunate furry animal crosses the path - poor Mattie), and the forever and always love.
Then I thought about the other things too, like people should know how you feel about them, even if you need to pull back your lips and snarl or growl. Ummmm, I have this one down, so I need to work on wagging my tail a little more. Ha ha that sounds a little racey but you know what I mean. I need to be more open to games and all around fun times. I don't know about y'all but neither one of my animals spend all day cleaning or stressing over a whole lot. Of course, they are also well taken care of.
Anyway, I guess my inspiration is that we need to make sure and remember that we are all animals of some kind and the last time I checked, dogs were at the list of best companions... Wonder why humans don't even make the top ten?

Summer!!!

Those of you who know me, know that I am a summer baby. The problem lately, hasn't been my lack of enthusiasm for summer, it is just that for the last several summers, I have been too busy to really enjoy. I was either killing myself while taking summer classes so I could hurry and get my masters, or I was taking classes AND teaching at the loft, or I was taking classes, and taking more classes in Bowling Green (and driving back and forth every day). Whew! Looking back I am not sure where all that energy came from. But this summer is SOOOOO different.

We got out of school last Wednesday and I have managed to stay busy doing piddly things. For example, Thursday we had to be in school to close out, Friday I went to organize Jeff's office in Russellville, and the weekend I spent cleaning every nook and cranny I could find. Today, I took a little slower, but still managed to get my errands done this mornings, scheduled appointments for dentists, and dog groomers, and then watched a movie with my kid. (Dazed and Confused - if you haven't seen it, you should; especially those of you who are of the same age as I.) Anyway, I took it slower.

I have also been clicker training Emma, formerly known as Trixie. Comanche thought her name sounded too promiscuous, so Emma seemed far less worldly sounding. She is coming along nicely, so everyone is getting along beautifully.

I hope to catch some pool time with Amy and the occassional runnning we do over the summer (Jeremy is playing for the Oilers - so maybe we will catch a ballgame or two). Other than that - summer is looking pretty quiet. I'm glad.

Teaching

Teaching is such a great job. I know people think we get all the perks, what with summer vacations, spring and fall breaks, snow days, etc., but with those great perks come some pretty large responsibilities. For 176 days out of the year, we are responsible for teaching our content areas, teaching social skills, teaching respect, teaching rules, teaching how to think, teaching how to think ahead, teaching self discipline, teaching relationships, teaching self esteem, and a thousand other things that kids need to be taught. This is no easy task.

Then when you have taught all these things, the last day of school rolls around. All the time you have spent teaching the little buggers, you wake up and realize they have taught you. They teach you innocence, heart, inner strength, curiosity, openness, and trust. So, I guess in essence, the teaching is not what wears me out - it is all the learning I have to do every year!

I will miss this class of 7th graders more than most. They have been a true blessing and I hope they will never stop teaching people.