So, I was reading this book, "Push", which was made into the movie "Precious". After forcing myself to finish it in three hours, I was able to really look at life in a different perspective. The book, itself, is written well, but the content was too disturbing to really think about anymore. However, when I read things like that, I am able to take a look at the things I have and how often I take them for granted. I have an amazing family - from top to bottom. That is what matters the most.
The other material things that I am fortunate enough to have are not really what I want to be my focus any longer. I have a great job, great house, great vehicles, great everything. I am thankful for them, but they are not what make me. They were not there when I was born, and I am pretty confident they won't be there when I die.
I am convinced that life has got to be more than the rat race I have allowed it to become. I will be more observant to the needs of those around me. If it means my house doesn't get cleaned (I have OCD tendencies), then it will be there when the needs of others have been met. Life is about relationships and how we treat each other.
I could spend hours belly aching how others treat me, or even how others treat others around me, but that is not my test. My test is how do I treat others? For a while now, I have been failing and miserably. I have let myself become so acclimated to society's norms that I have been guilty of not treating the people in my life as they deserve to be treated. I am not saying I have purposely been mean, but I haven't been as attentive as I should. I haven't been as forgiving as I should, and I haven't been as supportive as I should. I have always believed in what comes around goes around. When I think about this, I instinctively think about the harm that will come to others who have mistreated me. This is my first problem. What I should REALLY think about first is "Uh Oh." How have I treated others and in doing this, I will be more focused on what I can do and not so focused on what others are doing. I have to remember that I am only in control of my mouth, actions, and feelings. I am the only decision maker for me, AND I can only make those decisions for ME (not others). I will only be held accountable for myself. When I am standing before the Man, and He asks questions, there will be none of this "Well they deserved it" crap. I don't imagine He will appreciate me trying to do His job (especially when I muck it up from start to finish and then He has to go back and fix it or spend time making something good out of my making it bad).
Anyway - If I can remember that I am not in a position to judge others and if I can remind myself that even when people do mean spirited and hurtful things, I am not the judge and jury. I have GOT to let go and let God. It is the only way. With any luck at all, I will feel better about myself and my choices. I will start with being thankful for things in my life, but I will be more appreciative of the people (gifts from God) in my life.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
When do the good guys win?
Alright - here goes. About a week back, my step-dad, Murry, was asked to come into Lowe's where he goes to pick up materials used for installing carpet as an independent contractor working under Rainwater Floorcovering (which my mom owns). He was told the night before that a corporate guy wanted to have a meeting about work loads and details, but in reality - Murry showed up and was physically forced into a room where another corporate guy was standing post at the door. The corporate guys commenced in a three hour drill and grill session about missing carpet pads (around $80,000.00 worth). Murry tells them that he is not a thief and starts to explain how the problem COULD be that the sales people at Lowe's allow the padding to be cut by the customers OR they give whole rolls out for small jobs. The corporate guys continue to harass and threaten Murry with prosecution and "video" of him placing carpet tacks in his cart. Duh! He puts carpets on floors!!! Of course he has carpet tacks in his cart. The main guy leaves several times and comes back to intimidate and use terroristic style interrogations until Murry finally gives. Now keep in mind that Murry hasn't been in this type of stressful, hostile situation since Vietnam and has been threatened, physically shoved, and harassed for THREE HOURS!!! They finally make him sign a note that says he is "sorry for his actions" and make him agree to paying around $400.00. What actions???? Why $400.00? No one knows. They escort him out of the store and refuse to let him work the next day.
BIG PROBLEM....the owner of the company is my mom. Not one time did they ever contact her as the owner and let her know. Nor did they give Murry a copy of whatever it was they made him sign. Nor did they terminate the already assigned jobs to my mom, but gave them to another contractor. Nor was there any kind of representation for Murry. I am going to cuss...I know I will, so you may not want to read any further.
On to a different problem, but still the same. Lowe's has had to be reminded SEVERAL times that my mom (a woman, for crying out loud) is the owner of the company. They have refused to acknowledge her through phone calls, emails, and any other way they can get around it. Back in June, she had to force a meeting with the installation manager because he was giving her the ol' corporate run-around paper trail game that had to do with a lost background check on one of her employees. They wouldn't let her company work (even though she had guys with background checks) until this particular employee's background check went through. The guy had been working for eight years with Lowe's - I wonder where the background check had been then? Sound suspicious??? It should - it was Murry's background check that was mysteriously missing. Again, mom had to force a meeting to prove she was the owner. When she tried to call above the head of this guy, she was told by his boss that he "already knows everything" and then asked my mom, "can YOU lay the carpet"? Okay - the curse words are going to bubble out...I will just try to hold on a bit longer.
I am encouraging my mother to pursue a claim with EEOC, with her own attorney, post it in the papers, shout it from the mountain tops, and visit Larry King. This is America and in America, we are not allowed to bully, harass, intimidate, extort, discriminate, threaten, or mistreat people. Small business owners already have it rough enough - they don't need to be man handled (no punn intended).
If you have thoughts or suggestions on when the good guys win, please go ahead and post. I would love to hear them.
BIG PROBLEM....the owner of the company is my mom. Not one time did they ever contact her as the owner and let her know. Nor did they give Murry a copy of whatever it was they made him sign. Nor did they terminate the already assigned jobs to my mom, but gave them to another contractor. Nor was there any kind of representation for Murry. I am going to cuss...I know I will, so you may not want to read any further.
On to a different problem, but still the same. Lowe's has had to be reminded SEVERAL times that my mom (a woman, for crying out loud) is the owner of the company. They have refused to acknowledge her through phone calls, emails, and any other way they can get around it. Back in June, she had to force a meeting with the installation manager because he was giving her the ol' corporate run-around paper trail game that had to do with a lost background check on one of her employees. They wouldn't let her company work (even though she had guys with background checks) until this particular employee's background check went through. The guy had been working for eight years with Lowe's - I wonder where the background check had been then? Sound suspicious??? It should - it was Murry's background check that was mysteriously missing. Again, mom had to force a meeting to prove she was the owner. When she tried to call above the head of this guy, she was told by his boss that he "already knows everything" and then asked my mom, "can YOU lay the carpet"? Okay - the curse words are going to bubble out...I will just try to hold on a bit longer.
I am encouraging my mother to pursue a claim with EEOC, with her own attorney, post it in the papers, shout it from the mountain tops, and visit Larry King. This is America and in America, we are not allowed to bully, harass, intimidate, extort, discriminate, threaten, or mistreat people. Small business owners already have it rough enough - they don't need to be man handled (no punn intended).
If you have thoughts or suggestions on when the good guys win, please go ahead and post. I would love to hear them.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Sun is Shining
Alright. Late February and finally some sun is shining. This wonderful gift and act of nature brings on a huge sigh of relief...in many, many ways.
For example: one can go outside and feel warmth on their faces instead of ice forming on the moistness of their eyes, one can sit on their porch and listen to the birds singing to the sun, one can reflect on how life easily changes in the moment it takes the sun to peak over the horizon, and one can be thankful for the thousands of everyday blessings given to us by the Creator of the sun.
While reflecting, I listen to the heartbeat inside my chest. It beats with a steady thump that keeps my mind music in rhythm. It pounds out its constant reminder that I am alive. It shares its memories of past sunny days of pure warmth and enjoyment.
It also brings hope as I see little sprouts that promise beautiful colors in the tulip bed. Which remind me of how similar I am to my mother in regards to watching for gifts that lie under the snow. How amazing is it that I can remember being very small and learning this life long lesson from her when she was pointing out the life that survives under the harshness of a death-like winter?
I hope to be as amazing as she is. She is my constant ray of sun and warmth. She is a lighthouse that is never wavering and as solid as the rock that won't budge for any man or any amount of money. She knows to turn to God and she knows that one of the most precious gifts God gave to her are her children. She takes that knowledge and she gives her children and their lives right back to Him. In doing so, she models that unconditional faith and love in her God for her children to learn from. When the whiteness of the snow is gone and the green peeks through, she tells her children that this act of nature is from the Great Creator in an effort to show us that He is in control and only He can give life.
So, I welcome the first signs of spring and look forward to having, yet, another opportunity to teach my own children how life is a gift and if we watch for it, we can see those gifts through the promises of God.
For example: one can go outside and feel warmth on their faces instead of ice forming on the moistness of their eyes, one can sit on their porch and listen to the birds singing to the sun, one can reflect on how life easily changes in the moment it takes the sun to peak over the horizon, and one can be thankful for the thousands of everyday blessings given to us by the Creator of the sun.
While reflecting, I listen to the heartbeat inside my chest. It beats with a steady thump that keeps my mind music in rhythm. It pounds out its constant reminder that I am alive. It shares its memories of past sunny days of pure warmth and enjoyment.
It also brings hope as I see little sprouts that promise beautiful colors in the tulip bed. Which remind me of how similar I am to my mother in regards to watching for gifts that lie under the snow. How amazing is it that I can remember being very small and learning this life long lesson from her when she was pointing out the life that survives under the harshness of a death-like winter?
I hope to be as amazing as she is. She is my constant ray of sun and warmth. She is a lighthouse that is never wavering and as solid as the rock that won't budge for any man or any amount of money. She knows to turn to God and she knows that one of the most precious gifts God gave to her are her children. She takes that knowledge and she gives her children and their lives right back to Him. In doing so, she models that unconditional faith and love in her God for her children to learn from. When the whiteness of the snow is gone and the green peeks through, she tells her children that this act of nature is from the Great Creator in an effort to show us that He is in control and only He can give life.
So, I welcome the first signs of spring and look forward to having, yet, another opportunity to teach my own children how life is a gift and if we watch for it, we can see those gifts through the promises of God.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Corporate America
I wanted to take a minute and vent. If you are not interested in this section of my mind music, please stop reading now.
I have had my belly full of what some of America's larger companies think they can get away with. From the incident at Hobby Lobby with Amy to the more recent incident between my immediate family and Lowe's. I think that the blue collar working people need to make a stand against being treated like second class citizens when in reality, big money making companies would be penniless without the people willing to put in 14 hour days and giving their all to just to make their own ends met. I hope that Lowe's understands that when they represent themselves as a heartless, hateful, irresponsible, and unprofessional business, they will eventually reap what they sow. I know this doesn't sound very threatening, but when you realize how big God is and how small (mentally, physically, and every other 'ally) those people are that think they have the world by the knee caps, it becomes easier to understand how powerful this kind of "what comes around - goes around" theory is and what it means on a much larger scale.
I vow from this moment on to not stand by and allow anyone to disrespect me or anyone I love anymore. I have taken the high road and swallowed my tongue on more than one occasion and I guess I am choking on it now. The worst part is that I should have made this stand a while back. I will try to handle things with grace and dignity, but I simply can't make the promise that I will not demand a certain amount of respect from people.
I have had my belly full of what some of America's larger companies think they can get away with. From the incident at Hobby Lobby with Amy to the more recent incident between my immediate family and Lowe's. I think that the blue collar working people need to make a stand against being treated like second class citizens when in reality, big money making companies would be penniless without the people willing to put in 14 hour days and giving their all to just to make their own ends met. I hope that Lowe's understands that when they represent themselves as a heartless, hateful, irresponsible, and unprofessional business, they will eventually reap what they sow. I know this doesn't sound very threatening, but when you realize how big God is and how small (mentally, physically, and every other 'ally) those people are that think they have the world by the knee caps, it becomes easier to understand how powerful this kind of "what comes around - goes around" theory is and what it means on a much larger scale.
I vow from this moment on to not stand by and allow anyone to disrespect me or anyone I love anymore. I have taken the high road and swallowed my tongue on more than one occasion and I guess I am choking on it now. The worst part is that I should have made this stand a while back. I will try to handle things with grace and dignity, but I simply can't make the promise that I will not demand a certain amount of respect from people.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's Day - 2010
In honor of today being February 14th, I thought I would share a little story...
In March of 1992, I was making my way from San Antonio, Texas to Enterprise, Alabama. I was on my way to my first duty station at Fort Rucker, with no real expectation in mind other than to finally get to settle somewhere after completing basic training in Fort Leonardwood, MO and advanced individual training in Fort Sam Houston, TX. I was tired and quite frankly needed a place to call my own.
I met my NCO's, SSG Torres, and SSG Rodriguez as soon as I was in processed. They were nice enough fellows and wanted to show me around the hospital (where I would work the next three years) and to introduce me to the other PAD members. I was fortunate enough to know two of the girls that would be working with me because we had gone to basic and AIT at the same time. I knew them well enough to know that Devona Kay would call cheerios, "searios", and Tonya McCall was engaged to a guy from Ft. somewhere else in Alabama. I also knew them well enough because the three of us would share a very tiny room for the next couple of months.
Anyway - Sergeants Torres and Rodriguez were introducing the three of us to our new colleagues. Tracey Kaye was a specialist and married to a German girl (Bianca), Jay Battle was from Montgomery, AL and called everyone "guy", and there was another woman that was from Little Rock, AR. I immediately thought I should leave her alone - she was a brute and made no bones about breaking in "fresh meat". As Torres and Rodriguez were laughing at their own jokes, a guy poked his head around the cubicle to ask them a question. The sergeants introduced him as PFC Estes. He was only visible from the neck up and only for 2.5 seconds. Devona looked at me and said, "OOOOOOHhhhh, Boots! There go a Keeuuuttteee white boy!" I raised an eyebrow and let her know I wasn't going to respond to her opinions.
A few days later, PFC Estes was knocking on my barracks door. He said he was going to train me on the evening shift, and in the background of my room, Devona and Tonya were assuring each other that yes, indeed, he would. I ignored their comments while PFC Estes told me that I needed to get some rest because our shift started at 11:00 and would be over at 7:00 the next morning.
Estes and I worked the late shift for about a month and got to be pretty good friends. During the days (when everyone else was working), we would have lunch at either Taco Bell, or order pizzas from every pizza place in town. I learned that he was from Kentucky, drove a black, S10 truck with VERY loud speakers in the back, and had a girlfriend back home. I respected that and was only interested in friendship anyway - I had a boyfriend.
Life went on and I was pulling CQ one night for our barracks and this little girl comes in and demands to see Estes. I ask her to sign in and let her know that she needs to be gone by midnight. She informs me that she is a generals daughter and has no need to follow any of "my" rules. I let her go and curled back up with a book and vaguely wondered what Estes was doing with her. The next morning, Estes comes in to talk and asks if the girl can borrow some clothes, they are going to Montgomery for the day. I wouldn't have let her have them, but I liked Estes well enough to trust him. I never saw the clothes again, because I guess they broke up.
Estes asked if I wanted to see a movie and I declined. I already had a date for the peanut festival. He said he would stay and work on his truck. Later that night, I was headed out to the parking lot with the date and saw Estes under the hood of his truck. He stood up straight and waved. He had grease marks on his bare chest and his hat was turned around backwards. I turned to my date and told him I couldn't go out with him. I turned and walked over to Estes' truck to see if I could be of any help. :)
We went to see "A League of Their Own" and on the way back to the barracks, Estes told me about his daughter, Lauren. I was smitten with both, but I liked him too much and wanted to stay friends. I knew enough to know that once you date someone, it is too hard to just go back to being friends after, so I made it a point to be close, but not that close.
We talked about other romantic interests, favorite foods, television, families, and anything a person can think of to talk about - we talked about it. Estes asked me if I wanted to go to Kentucky for the weekend. I laughed and said that I didn't think so. Too many hillbillies and all. He went anyway. I was bored all weekend.
He asked again after Christmas - we had some drama with some of the guys in our company who had drug related problems. I said maybe next time. I was bored again while he was gone.
I met his parents when they came to Alabama for a weekend, but only briefly. Jeff was showing them his room. I saw them all coming down the hall and he introduced me to them in passing. I went on my way - but I was secretly glad he was back. They had all gone to Florida, and Jeff looked pretty good with a tan. I was seriously glad he was back.
A friend and I decided that we would move out of the barracks and rent a place off post. Jeff helped us move and attended our first party. At one time, I thought of myself as a pretty good quarters player, but Jeff took that title from me. I was pretty pissed about the whole thing until he kissed me. I pretended to be mad about that too.
I was asked to babysit for one of our master sergeants while he was out of town. You don't say "no" to a master sergeant, so I made Jeff go with me and we watched the kids and each other.
Jeff asked again if I would go to Kentucky with him. I accepted. It was about an eight hour trip and we would leave after PT the following Friday. (which happened to be Valentine's day)
We got to Kentucky around midnight and we walked into his parent's house. His mom had been sleeping on the couch waiting for us, and when she stood up, she said, "Hello, Shannon. It is nice to meet you." I looked at Jeff and raised both eyebrows. He quickly corrected his mom and showed me to the guest room. There were balloons and flowers on the night stand. The balloons had "I LOVE YOU" on them, and the flowers were the most beautiful roses I have ever seen. I was confused because I thought they were for 'Shannon', but Jeff insisted they were for me. I was taken back, but pleasantly relieved. On the way back to Alabama, we talked about the rest of our lives.
We were married the following month, March 29, 1993, during his lunch break from Air Assault School. We went to the courthouse in Ozark, AL and were married by a lady with a nice gap between her teeth. She was sweet, but pronouncing Estes was difficult for her.
We went back to the place that we rented together and started our lives as a married couple. In June, we found out I was pregnant and we would have Comanche on January, 27th, 1994. Nine months after his birth, we found ourselves in Heidelberg, Germany for three years. After our active duty lives were over, we returned to the great state of Kentucky to spend the rest of our lives together. Almost 17 years later, I can still see Jeff standing up after working on the engine of his truck. I knew then, that I wouldn't be able to breathe if we weren't together. I am still not sure why it took me so long.
In March of 1992, I was making my way from San Antonio, Texas to Enterprise, Alabama. I was on my way to my first duty station at Fort Rucker, with no real expectation in mind other than to finally get to settle somewhere after completing basic training in Fort Leonardwood, MO and advanced individual training in Fort Sam Houston, TX. I was tired and quite frankly needed a place to call my own.
I met my NCO's, SSG Torres, and SSG Rodriguez as soon as I was in processed. They were nice enough fellows and wanted to show me around the hospital (where I would work the next three years) and to introduce me to the other PAD members. I was fortunate enough to know two of the girls that would be working with me because we had gone to basic and AIT at the same time. I knew them well enough to know that Devona Kay would call cheerios, "searios", and Tonya McCall was engaged to a guy from Ft. somewhere else in Alabama. I also knew them well enough because the three of us would share a very tiny room for the next couple of months.
Anyway - Sergeants Torres and Rodriguez were introducing the three of us to our new colleagues. Tracey Kaye was a specialist and married to a German girl (Bianca), Jay Battle was from Montgomery, AL and called everyone "guy", and there was another woman that was from Little Rock, AR. I immediately thought I should leave her alone - she was a brute and made no bones about breaking in "fresh meat". As Torres and Rodriguez were laughing at their own jokes, a guy poked his head around the cubicle to ask them a question. The sergeants introduced him as PFC Estes. He was only visible from the neck up and only for 2.5 seconds. Devona looked at me and said, "OOOOOOHhhhh, Boots! There go a Keeuuuttteee white boy!" I raised an eyebrow and let her know I wasn't going to respond to her opinions.
A few days later, PFC Estes was knocking on my barracks door. He said he was going to train me on the evening shift, and in the background of my room, Devona and Tonya were assuring each other that yes, indeed, he would. I ignored their comments while PFC Estes told me that I needed to get some rest because our shift started at 11:00 and would be over at 7:00 the next morning.
Estes and I worked the late shift for about a month and got to be pretty good friends. During the days (when everyone else was working), we would have lunch at either Taco Bell, or order pizzas from every pizza place in town. I learned that he was from Kentucky, drove a black, S10 truck with VERY loud speakers in the back, and had a girlfriend back home. I respected that and was only interested in friendship anyway - I had a boyfriend.
Life went on and I was pulling CQ one night for our barracks and this little girl comes in and demands to see Estes. I ask her to sign in and let her know that she needs to be gone by midnight. She informs me that she is a generals daughter and has no need to follow any of "my" rules. I let her go and curled back up with a book and vaguely wondered what Estes was doing with her. The next morning, Estes comes in to talk and asks if the girl can borrow some clothes, they are going to Montgomery for the day. I wouldn't have let her have them, but I liked Estes well enough to trust him. I never saw the clothes again, because I guess they broke up.
Estes asked if I wanted to see a movie and I declined. I already had a date for the peanut festival. He said he would stay and work on his truck. Later that night, I was headed out to the parking lot with the date and saw Estes under the hood of his truck. He stood up straight and waved. He had grease marks on his bare chest and his hat was turned around backwards. I turned to my date and told him I couldn't go out with him. I turned and walked over to Estes' truck to see if I could be of any help. :)
We went to see "A League of Their Own" and on the way back to the barracks, Estes told me about his daughter, Lauren. I was smitten with both, but I liked him too much and wanted to stay friends. I knew enough to know that once you date someone, it is too hard to just go back to being friends after, so I made it a point to be close, but not that close.
We talked about other romantic interests, favorite foods, television, families, and anything a person can think of to talk about - we talked about it. Estes asked me if I wanted to go to Kentucky for the weekend. I laughed and said that I didn't think so. Too many hillbillies and all. He went anyway. I was bored all weekend.
He asked again after Christmas - we had some drama with some of the guys in our company who had drug related problems. I said maybe next time. I was bored again while he was gone.
I met his parents when they came to Alabama for a weekend, but only briefly. Jeff was showing them his room. I saw them all coming down the hall and he introduced me to them in passing. I went on my way - but I was secretly glad he was back. They had all gone to Florida, and Jeff looked pretty good with a tan. I was seriously glad he was back.
A friend and I decided that we would move out of the barracks and rent a place off post. Jeff helped us move and attended our first party. At one time, I thought of myself as a pretty good quarters player, but Jeff took that title from me. I was pretty pissed about the whole thing until he kissed me. I pretended to be mad about that too.
I was asked to babysit for one of our master sergeants while he was out of town. You don't say "no" to a master sergeant, so I made Jeff go with me and we watched the kids and each other.
Jeff asked again if I would go to Kentucky with him. I accepted. It was about an eight hour trip and we would leave after PT the following Friday. (which happened to be Valentine's day)
We got to Kentucky around midnight and we walked into his parent's house. His mom had been sleeping on the couch waiting for us, and when she stood up, she said, "Hello, Shannon. It is nice to meet you." I looked at Jeff and raised both eyebrows. He quickly corrected his mom and showed me to the guest room. There were balloons and flowers on the night stand. The balloons had "I LOVE YOU" on them, and the flowers were the most beautiful roses I have ever seen. I was confused because I thought they were for 'Shannon', but Jeff insisted they were for me. I was taken back, but pleasantly relieved. On the way back to Alabama, we talked about the rest of our lives.
We were married the following month, March 29, 1993, during his lunch break from Air Assault School. We went to the courthouse in Ozark, AL and were married by a lady with a nice gap between her teeth. She was sweet, but pronouncing Estes was difficult for her.
We went back to the place that we rented together and started our lives as a married couple. In June, we found out I was pregnant and we would have Comanche on January, 27th, 1994. Nine months after his birth, we found ourselves in Heidelberg, Germany for three years. After our active duty lives were over, we returned to the great state of Kentucky to spend the rest of our lives together. Almost 17 years later, I can still see Jeff standing up after working on the engine of his truck. I knew then, that I wouldn't be able to breathe if we weren't together. I am still not sure why it took me so long.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Memories
Just recently, I was given the best gift. I sent a message to my oldest brother and got caught up in memories. I won't share all of those that he and I spoke of, mostly because I am sure no one else would understand. However, I was sent down memory lane so I thought I would give you a quick timeline of the life of Ginger.
1972 - born
1977 - started my school career in Guthrie, Oklahoma and met my best friends for the rest of my school days and still at large - Sandy and Gerri
1988- two weeks before Christmas and in my junior year of high school, moved to Moore, Oklahoma
1989 - moved to podunk-nowhere Arkansas (hated it and can't stand this time of my life so I will move forward)
1990 - graduated high school (barely because life was so friggin' miserable)
1992 - enlisted in the US Army - went to basic at Ft. Leonardwood, MO and AIT in San Antonio, TX (Ft. Sam Houston)
1992 - May - went to my first duty station at Ft. Rucker, AL. Met two of my best friends in the whole world (Mischa and Lori) - Have lived several lives with them *Gulf Port, MS*
1993 - Met and married my husband, Jeff (and gained a daughter - Lauren).
1994 - Had Comanche and moved to Heidelberg, Germany.
1995 - I got out of the Army and started working for the Univ. of MD - Heidelberg Division
1997 - Jeff and I left the Army (totally) and moved to Kentucky and started our new lives as civilians. We both earned our bachelor degrees and I went on to get my masters from Western Kentucky University and sometime in there began teaching, where I met Amy and several other people whom I have had fantastic memories with.
2004 - taught high school (English) at Cloverport
2005 - taught middle school Language Arts in Daviess County with Sara, Jennifer, Barbie, and Cathy
currently - still teaching and have included teaching college classes (English).
I know that was a brief synopsis, but if you know me at all, then you know where you fit in the life of Ginger. For example - I have three brothers and two sisters-in-law, I have four nephews, and three nieces (whom I completely adore) and talk to my mom just about every single day. I love my family and am always there for my friends. I support my students, and get a kick out of middle school drama (until it gets old0, and LOVE LOVE LOVE summer vacations.
All in all - that is me and the timeline of my mind music. Now maybe when you read the posts, they make a little more sense. Love to all.
1972 - born
1977 - started my school career in Guthrie, Oklahoma and met my best friends for the rest of my school days and still at large - Sandy and Gerri
1988- two weeks before Christmas and in my junior year of high school, moved to Moore, Oklahoma
1989 - moved to podunk-nowhere Arkansas (hated it and can't stand this time of my life so I will move forward)
1990 - graduated high school (barely because life was so friggin' miserable)
1992 - enlisted in the US Army - went to basic at Ft. Leonardwood, MO and AIT in San Antonio, TX (Ft. Sam Houston)
1992 - May - went to my first duty station at Ft. Rucker, AL. Met two of my best friends in the whole world (Mischa and Lori) - Have lived several lives with them *Gulf Port, MS*
1993 - Met and married my husband, Jeff (and gained a daughter - Lauren).
1994 - Had Comanche and moved to Heidelberg, Germany.
1995 - I got out of the Army and started working for the Univ. of MD - Heidelberg Division
1997 - Jeff and I left the Army (totally) and moved to Kentucky and started our new lives as civilians. We both earned our bachelor degrees and I went on to get my masters from Western Kentucky University and sometime in there began teaching, where I met Amy and several other people whom I have had fantastic memories with.
2004 - taught high school (English) at Cloverport
2005 - taught middle school Language Arts in Daviess County with Sara, Jennifer, Barbie, and Cathy
currently - still teaching and have included teaching college classes (English).
I know that was a brief synopsis, but if you know me at all, then you know where you fit in the life of Ginger. For example - I have three brothers and two sisters-in-law, I have four nephews, and three nieces (whom I completely adore) and talk to my mom just about every single day. I love my family and am always there for my friends. I support my students, and get a kick out of middle school drama (until it gets old0, and LOVE LOVE LOVE summer vacations.
All in all - that is me and the timeline of my mind music. Now maybe when you read the posts, they make a little more sense. Love to all.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Urgh....
I do not normally growl. However, I think with the snow getting on my nerves, and dealing with the ignorance of some people have left me in a pretty foul mood. I have not always been the most caring or compassionate person. Once upon a time, I would have rather spit on someone than to worry about their feelings or even try to see things from their perspective. Occasionally, those tendencies creep back into thoughts and I am ready to pounce on someone. Incidentally, this particular instance has me befuddled. Here is why:
I can't take matters into my own hands (as I would have liked) because one of the people I care about the most on this planet won't allow it. I remember a time, a few years back, when I wouldn't have even cared if this person got angry, because I knew in my heart of hearts that this person would always love me, even when angry with me. This time is different, because I cannot stand to see this person hurt more than they are already hurting. The person that is doing the hurting should probably hurt too - in my way of thinking. I realize that God will take all of this into consideration, but I can't stop wanting to hurt this person to make them stop hurting the person I love.
To take matters a little more complicated - the person doing the hurting is also manipulating other people that I love and this infuriates me even more. Without sounding cryptic, one of the people being manipulated is also manipulating the original person I love the most. The tangled webs we weave, right?
Back to my original thought - I want so badly for these people who manipulate and intentionally hurt others to hurt more, and - I hope you drown in a vat of horse pee. I know this is not a Christian like attitude, and I will more than likely delete this post sometime down the line...but not just yet. I am extremely put out with the whole lot of you (the people who pretend to be considerate and hide behind cloaks of daggers and lies). This includes the one of you that should absolutely know better. Wannabe people can get bent, the originals (and you know who you are) will soon find out that you can't treat people like this and expect nothing in return. You reap what you sow and that comes from that religion that you say you believe in. God understands anger, but I don't think He understands dirty, underhanded, take what you want, hateful, deceit. Once a liar - always a liar.
For those of you who are new to my posting, I am terribly sorry that you have to witness this - but if you want to know the mind of the music - you probably need to know that sometimes the songs aren't that pretty. The times that I growl are rare these days, but tonight just happens to be one of those times. URGHHHHH.
I can't take matters into my own hands (as I would have liked) because one of the people I care about the most on this planet won't allow it. I remember a time, a few years back, when I wouldn't have even cared if this person got angry, because I knew in my heart of hearts that this person would always love me, even when angry with me. This time is different, because I cannot stand to see this person hurt more than they are already hurting. The person that is doing the hurting should probably hurt too - in my way of thinking. I realize that God will take all of this into consideration, but I can't stop wanting to hurt this person to make them stop hurting the person I love.
To take matters a little more complicated - the person doing the hurting is also manipulating other people that I love and this infuriates me even more. Without sounding cryptic, one of the people being manipulated is also manipulating the original person I love the most. The tangled webs we weave, right?
Back to my original thought - I want so badly for these people who manipulate and intentionally hurt others to hurt more, and - I hope you drown in a vat of horse pee. I know this is not a Christian like attitude, and I will more than likely delete this post sometime down the line...but not just yet. I am extremely put out with the whole lot of you (the people who pretend to be considerate and hide behind cloaks of daggers and lies). This includes the one of you that should absolutely know better. Wannabe people can get bent, the originals (and you know who you are) will soon find out that you can't treat people like this and expect nothing in return. You reap what you sow and that comes from that religion that you say you believe in. God understands anger, but I don't think He understands dirty, underhanded, take what you want, hateful, deceit. Once a liar - always a liar.
For those of you who are new to my posting, I am terribly sorry that you have to witness this - but if you want to know the mind of the music - you probably need to know that sometimes the songs aren't that pretty. The times that I growl are rare these days, but tonight just happens to be one of those times. URGHHHHH.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The more things change, the more things stay the same...
So, I have neglected to post for several months, and am sorry about that. I will try to update and in doing so, relieve some of the mind music that sounds like heavy metal ringing in my ears. I would really like to have my brain return to the smooth, soft, harmony that usually is playing in my mind.
Weather: we currently have about eight inches of snow. We are out of school AGAIN and I am concerned about when this school year will end. I love my j0b, but with my "seasonal disorder" I would enjoy a nice summer vacation.
Family: Jeff and I are still wonderful. Comanche has received his driver's license and moved on to another girlfriend. Lauren turned 19 yesterday, and our house is on the market. We want to move out to the Estes' farm. We want to enjoy the benefits of living in the country again, so Comanche can have some of the experiences that both Jeff and I did growing up.
Work: Wow. So far, this year has been flying by and I think we have tried to keep most of the drama that comes with middle school at bay. We still get the occasional flare up, but for the most part - we have great kids. They still want to please, so they try hard to meet our expectations for them. Teaching college has been such a blessing. I have really enjoyed meeting the people, and working with them to help them meet their own goals. I like that about what I do.
Extended family: All seems well, except for a few hurdles that my brothers are going through. I would like to see some of the drama end there, but when you live in a world full of sin, it is pretty probably that bad things are going to happen. I just hate when one of them has found himself in a situation that he simply did not ask for, nor did he even see coming. I would explain how infuriated I was, but I don't want the explicit language to come across the wrong way. Don't get me wrong - I am still pretty livid, but there are better ways to handle things than to stoop to the level of the one that deserves it. Hopefully, that person will understand how their actions have impacted an entire family. I read a book once about how when we are on earth and the pain we cause (whether intentional or not) will be shown to us when we get to Heaven. This guy that wrote the book died on an operating table and was given this box to open after he died. He opened the box and felt immense pain and suffering and explained it something like this: When he came home from work and took out his bad day on his wife, she in turn took it out on the kids, the kids then took it out on their friends, and their friends took it out on their own families. Well, the guy at the beginning not only felt his own pain again, but the pain of everyone after him because he had the choice to stop it with himself. Anyway - I can't imagine how painful that must have been for him. He was revived on the operating table and felt the need to write that book. I can't remember the title, but I think it was "Life After Life". In case you want to read it for yourself.
So - back to my original statement - I am not in a position to take on the world's ugliness, even though I often think I can, but I know someone who certainly has the power to do that. God knows how many people I have hurt in the past and I would really rather not have to add to the pain in the box that I will already get. Otherwise, I would be ALL over it. I guess the people who impact others will just have to learn the hard way.
As for the rest of my family - they all seem to be doing well. I was able to add a sister to my life just recently. She lives in California and is attending college there. I got her number from my mom and step-dad, so I called her up and introduced myself. It was great talking to her and getting to know her. Up until then, I had only seen a couple of pictures of her, but did not know how to get into touch with her.
Alright - I think my mind music is calming down for now. At least now I can make some sense of the rhythm again. I didn't realize how much I missed this until Sandy made me aware that I hadn't posted in a while. Thanks, friend, for sensing that I needed this outlet. You always did know how to calm my spirit. :)
Weather: we currently have about eight inches of snow. We are out of school AGAIN and I am concerned about when this school year will end. I love my j0b, but with my "seasonal disorder" I would enjoy a nice summer vacation.
Family: Jeff and I are still wonderful. Comanche has received his driver's license and moved on to another girlfriend. Lauren turned 19 yesterday, and our house is on the market. We want to move out to the Estes' farm. We want to enjoy the benefits of living in the country again, so Comanche can have some of the experiences that both Jeff and I did growing up.
Work: Wow. So far, this year has been flying by and I think we have tried to keep most of the drama that comes with middle school at bay. We still get the occasional flare up, but for the most part - we have great kids. They still want to please, so they try hard to meet our expectations for them. Teaching college has been such a blessing. I have really enjoyed meeting the people, and working with them to help them meet their own goals. I like that about what I do.
Extended family: All seems well, except for a few hurdles that my brothers are going through. I would like to see some of the drama end there, but when you live in a world full of sin, it is pretty probably that bad things are going to happen. I just hate when one of them has found himself in a situation that he simply did not ask for, nor did he even see coming. I would explain how infuriated I was, but I don't want the explicit language to come across the wrong way. Don't get me wrong - I am still pretty livid, but there are better ways to handle things than to stoop to the level of the one that deserves it. Hopefully, that person will understand how their actions have impacted an entire family. I read a book once about how when we are on earth and the pain we cause (whether intentional or not) will be shown to us when we get to Heaven. This guy that wrote the book died on an operating table and was given this box to open after he died. He opened the box and felt immense pain and suffering and explained it something like this: When he came home from work and took out his bad day on his wife, she in turn took it out on the kids, the kids then took it out on their friends, and their friends took it out on their own families. Well, the guy at the beginning not only felt his own pain again, but the pain of everyone after him because he had the choice to stop it with himself. Anyway - I can't imagine how painful that must have been for him. He was revived on the operating table and felt the need to write that book. I can't remember the title, but I think it was "Life After Life". In case you want to read it for yourself.
So - back to my original statement - I am not in a position to take on the world's ugliness, even though I often think I can, but I know someone who certainly has the power to do that. God knows how many people I have hurt in the past and I would really rather not have to add to the pain in the box that I will already get. Otherwise, I would be ALL over it. I guess the people who impact others will just have to learn the hard way.
As for the rest of my family - they all seem to be doing well. I was able to add a sister to my life just recently. She lives in California and is attending college there. I got her number from my mom and step-dad, so I called her up and introduced myself. It was great talking to her and getting to know her. Up until then, I had only seen a couple of pictures of her, but did not know how to get into touch with her.
Alright - I think my mind music is calming down for now. At least now I can make some sense of the rhythm again. I didn't realize how much I missed this until Sandy made me aware that I hadn't posted in a while. Thanks, friend, for sensing that I needed this outlet. You always did know how to calm my spirit. :)
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