No more negative!

So, I was reading this book, "Push", which was made into the movie "Precious". After forcing myself to finish it in three hours, I was able to really look at life in a different perspective. The book, itself, is written well, but the content was too disturbing to really think about anymore. However, when I read things like that, I am able to take a look at the things I have and how often I take them for granted. I have an amazing family - from top to bottom. That is what matters the most.

The other material things that I am fortunate enough to have are not really what I want to be my focus any longer. I have a great job, great house, great vehicles, great everything. I am thankful for them, but they are not what make me. They were not there when I was born, and I am pretty confident they won't be there when I die.

I am convinced that life has got to be more than the rat race I have allowed it to become. I will be more observant to the needs of those around me. If it means my house doesn't get cleaned (I have OCD tendencies), then it will be there when the needs of others have been met. Life is about relationships and how we treat each other.

I could spend hours belly aching how others treat me, or even how others treat others around me, but that is not my test. My test is how do I treat others? For a while now, I have been failing and miserably. I have let myself become so acclimated to society's norms that I have been guilty of not treating the people in my life as they deserve to be treated. I am not saying I have purposely been mean, but I haven't been as attentive as I should. I haven't been as forgiving as I should, and I haven't been as supportive as I should. I have always believed in what comes around goes around. When I think about this, I instinctively think about the harm that will come to others who have mistreated me. This is my first problem. What I should REALLY think about first is "Uh Oh." How have I treated others and in doing this, I will be more focused on what I can do and not so focused on what others are doing. I have to remember that I am only in control of my mouth, actions, and feelings. I am the only decision maker for me, AND I can only make those decisions for ME (not others). I will only be held accountable for myself. When I am standing before the Man, and He asks questions, there will be none of this "Well they deserved it" crap. I don't imagine He will appreciate me trying to do His job (especially when I muck it up from start to finish and then He has to go back and fix it or spend time making something good out of my making it bad).

Anyway - If I can remember that I am not in a position to judge others and if I can remind myself that even when people do mean spirited and hurtful things, I am not the judge and jury. I have GOT to let go and let God. It is the only way. With any luck at all, I will feel better about myself and my choices. I will start with being thankful for things in my life, but I will be more appreciative of the people (gifts from God) in my life.