Lessons

I know I haven't posted in a while. I think my mind was trying to wrap around the things that have happened the last couple of weeks and I tend to try to sort things out quietly. Then, when my music returns, I can process enough to write about it.

A week ago today, I was with a friend because her wonderful, sweet, loving grandmother had a catastrophic stroke. The particular part of her brain that was affected would mean if she recovered, she would be blind and paralyzed. The doctors put Ma Ellen on life support with a forty eight hour prognosis. The family decided Ma Ellen would not want to live like that so they took the life support off on Thursday. My friend and I stayed in the hospital for the night. As amazing as it sounds, the night went by rather fast. The nurse called us in the waiting room (where we were stationed) and said we needed to come on back. My friend and I (and a cousin) were there when Ma Ellen took her last breath. They held her hands, soothed her, and my friend sang while I rubbed Ma Ellen's feet. I wish I had the words to explain what a beautiful experience we shared when God took this wonderful lady home to be with the rest of His angels. I simply do not have the right kind of vocabulary. Not yet. However, my friend came the closest when she said it felt like, "Be still and know that I AM GOD."

Then on Sunday, the same friend spoke and sang at her grandmother's funeral. The words she said caught my attention like nothing I had heard before, even though I had read the scriptures many times.

Proverbs 31 (26-31)
"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty if fleeting: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

My friend told those attending the funeral that Ma Ellen had, "done it right". She went on to give specific examples of the things her grandmother did for their family and friends. So I thought about this. Then I thought some more. And here are the lessons I am so thankful that I have learned:

Ma Ellen loved me. She didn't know me well because every time I saw her, she was in the nursing home, but she ALWAYS made me feel welcome and special. She would say things like, "You have sure grown up well", and "aren't you beautiful?", and "You sure are a good friend". She didn't know me, yet she loved me. Sounds very biblical but I can't stress what I am trying to say well. She followed Jesus' teachings and opened her arms. The lesson from this is that I need to improve in a HUGE way here. I don't open my arms to anyone unless they pass some kind of ridiculous trust test that isn't even a fair test.

Ma Ellen gave me an eternal gift when she raised her family to be so incredibly open and passionate about life. My friend, her father, her aunt, her cousin...they all are very passionate about life (and death) and live every moment as if it were their last. I know this sounds cliche - ish, but again, very true. Even while trying to comprehend death, this family welcomed me and made me feel special. Lesson? Learn to think of others first, and especially when dealing with crisis.

Ma Ellen did do it right! I have learned that we are given one shot here on this Earth. That's it! We have choices to make, and they aren't even hard choices; we either love or we don't. I choose to love. I choose to love life. I choose to love - no matter the cost. I can't continue to go through life only half way loving. And this is the thing that I had to wrap my head around....how would the world be if Jesus only loved certain beings? Or people that met a certain criteria?

Ma Ellen taught me a lot about life. I will spend more time honoring the love she left behind, and I will certainly try harder to "do it right", because with all my heart, I want my God to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Karma

Karma is when you have been pretty pissy (for no apparent reason) all day and then go to get in the shower, slip, fall on your ankle and have to spend the rest of the day with your leg propped up. I wish is wasn't the truth, though. How humiliating is it to fall, but how much worse is it to fall in the shower???? I wanted to lie there and gather my strength, but another piece of karma is not setting the water temperature to something other than scalding. So, now I have a bum ankle, scalded skin, and still pretty pissy. I wonder when I will learn. Hopefully very very soon.

While I am at it, isn't Karma spelled with an 'h'? My computer says no, so I am thinking this is just one more argument I won't be winning today. sigh. Oh well...the good news is that tomorrow is a new day.

RJ

So before my battery runs out, I had to say some things about my niece, RJ. We were walking through a store towards the toys, cuz she is five. She is telling me we need to hurry but she gets to oooohing and awwwwing over everything she sees and stops abruptly, shakes her head and says, " I am getting distracted!" I laugh but know she and I think exactly the same way. Then we spend a couple of days chasing waves at the beach but she is by far the braver of the two because she doesn't mind the seaweed sticking to her. Then tonight we were talking about her coming to live with me. She totally manipulates the conversation, I end up with her thinking that I should move in with her. She breaks my heart when she runs to her daddy (my brother) and cries on his shoulder because I won't live with her! Then she gets over it and we try to solve the mystery of the missing frog we'd seen earlier. We spend the rest of the evening looking for clues (using scooby doo phrases and quips). That child is definitely a mini me. Even her mean face and giggles are so similar to my own. God is certainly amazing and clearly a disciplining God, especially where my brother is concerned. Poor guy.