15 years ago today...

So - 15 years ago today I was looking down into the eyes of my son. After an exhausting night of labor and delivery, my baby boy was put into my arms and it was love at first sight. Actually, on my part it was love at first flutter, but who knows what he was thinking. I have asked myself that on many occasions these last 15 years.."What is he THINKING?" But nevertheless, he is my life, my love, my heart, my every thought. He is Comanche. In 15 years you would think I would be able to get used to the idea of being a mom - but I truly believe that each day I am supposed to learn something about parenting. The good Lord knows I get tested every so often, and with that in mind - I feel the need to worry about his being 16 next year. A very good family friend visited last night with his new car (he turned 16 yesterday) and the car looked just like the driver..athletic and sleek at the same time. I began to feel my heart thumping a little harder in anticipation of Comanche's getting behind the wheel. Then I reminded myself that we all go through it and thanked God for parents who let their children learn how to properly drive. As for this birthday - I can't wait to hear him play the drums (and use the new symbols). I took him to the music store and let him pick up some other essential items...or at least I guess they were essential items. He seems to know so much more about that stuff than I. Anyway - it all went with his drums but the point to my sharing this is that he LET me take him to the music store. I don't want that to sound retarded or that he is rotten - what I mean to say is that he LET me be a part of his life that is important to him. I felt very honored and humbled. As much as I want to see the little boy sliding down the slide, or feel the sweet sugars given to me every morning before the juice cup against the brow, I have to realize that he is growing up and has special interests that are uniquely his. He stands proud in his beliefs, he has a good solid head on his shoulders, he can outwit and out think the best of 'em, and he can certainly make me smile. He deserves to be exactly who he is. I love that boy with all of my heart.